For the last year I have been gainfully employed as an artist. For a bit longer if you count my jobs as an art teacher.
As a child I always dreamed of being a professional artists when I grew up. And then at some point around middle school reality checked in and told me that there was no way I could support myself and still be a zealous witness and be a professional artists. In fact I still remember being about 9 years old and getting asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said an artist or a writer. I remember the person asking me that laughing in my face and saying that it wasn't very likely I'd be able to make any money as either. So I let that dream slip to being just a hobby.
Then in high school, I discovered what a graphic designer was thanks to my dad's coaxing and I learned that I could be a commercial artists. Not exactly the same level of freedom of creativity but it did come with a steady paycheck. Everyday that I wake up, that I get a new order or fave in my Etsy shop, that I have to run up to the art supply store for business purchases I feel like pinching myself. It feels so odd to call myself an artists. To say that is what my career is. But it is. My art is what paid our bills this last year.
There have been times it's so scary I have knots in my stomach and want to hurl my guts out because of stress and fear of failure. Days and weeks even where I don't know where our next pay check will come from. How I will pay the utilities or buy food. But it always works out. I always get that next order and hear a wonderful feedback from a client. And those are the days where the sun shines deep within my heart.
And I know I owe it all to Jehovah. He is the one that makes sure we have "all these other things" (Matt. 6:33). And he is the one that gave me my creativity and passion. He is the one who has taught me to be a honest and a hard worker and responsible so that I have good business practices and always strive to make my clients happy and come back. He is the one that guided me to my amazing husband who supports me everyday and encourages me and gives me back rubs and makes me eat my 3 meals a day by literally preparing and bringing them to my desk. A husband who has become a domestic hero by taking on all the chores that overwhelm me so that I can be free to create and work.
This last year has been full of transitions and fears and tears and angst. But there's been joy and laughter and some of the sweetest moments I think Luke and I will ever enjoy.
And now with Luke going back to work, and less pressure is on me to be profitable, I can go back to simply working for the love of it. For the love of being creative and collaborating with clients on creating something that will make them smile every time they look at it.
I love brainstorming new products and new avenues. Working on new collections and preparing for launches, like my upcoming poetry on demand endeavor.
And my favorite part of my job is that I set my own schedule. I can go out of town whenever I want and if it's during a busy time I can simply take my work with me. I can Pioneer because I set my service schedule first and then my work fills in the gaps left over. I will be able to stay home with our future children and always be there for them because my job is only a few feet away.And that's what reminds me why I want to do everything to make this life work. To be an artist on the inside and out.